-Life-

There are moments in life that make you,

and moments in life that break you.

There are moments in life that influence you,

and moments in life that change you.

There are moments in life that challenge you,

and moments in life that inspire you.

There are moments in life that crush you,

and moments in life that destroy you.

There are moments in life of total peace,

and moments in life of total chaos.

But you have to remember,

Nothing is permanent, everything is temporary.

-Anon-

fuck you...

fuck you and your mentally unstable deposition.....

fuck you and your words....

fuck you and your retardness....

fuck you and your lack of humor....

fuck you and your inconsiderateness....

fuck you and your selfish ways....

fuck you and your judgmental ways....

this is an overall get the fuck outta my life tribute.....

there....i feel much betta now....=)

...[*the funny thingz in life*]...

its funny ryte...

how when your a control freak...

that one moment you let go...

you regret...

its funny ryte...

how when you allow ureself to think maybe...

and convince yourself that it just might work...

you regret...

its funny ryte...

how when you become a believer...

from being a non...

you regret...

its funny ryte...

how all this hype is built up...

then when it all crashes...

you regret...

its funny ryte...

when something good is in front of us...

and we choose to ignore it for the latter...

you regret...

and the funniest thing is...

how when you decide to take a chance...

and you leap in with both feet...

ignoring the past...

hoping it would be different...

you regret totally...

lifez funny like that...

..lost..

i cant do this anymore.

i dont feel like me.

i just cant.

im getting emo.

i just really cant.

itz not much, but the possibility of the pain is back.

...-blank-...

feelin a bit shyt ryte about now....i dunno....i just am....i like just dont know how to deal with everything...i just dont fcukin get it...do i seem bloody invisble??...i guess standing next to her i do...itz not anyonez fault...i guess you just dont get to choose whud you want to feel....but it still...*sighz*...i dont know....itz very mixed i guess...very...i feel invisble..im not there..i dont want to be...i know who i am...and whud i want..and trivial thoughtz like this shouldnt even be entertained...but.....it matters a little...[actually...alot but i wont admit it]....somehow...everything i attempt i feel like im average...a jack of all tradez of sortz....and the master of none...i can do it...but not well...damnit...i have issuez...i need to get rid of this....i dont need it ryte now...i really dont....but as much as i hate to admit it...it existz...and i need to work through it...but ryte now...i dont have the strength....

that little gurl trapped and hidden is reappearing....

...-I'M BACK-...

ryte...since ive got so much time on my hands now..ive decided to revive my prolonged absence from the blog-o-sphere....[lolz]....



well now...whud can we talk about??...well ive finally moved out...t.H.O..u.....S........a.....N.........D.......z of miles away. for those of you who dont know, im althoughter in a new country...*sighz*...it was a bit weird to begin with. i mean...im all on my own...literally knew no one when i came here....n yet it was like i feel like ive been handed a new lease on life. like i can start a whole new life from scratch....with ppl who knew jack bout me...free-ing...yet depressive as well...



havent been up to alot....ive only been here 3 weekz so generally not been up to much...learnin to do everything on my own now....god i hate doing laundry...[def gonna hire someone when i can affort it].....*sighz*...i sound so domesticated now...[lolz]...mum will be so proud....so anyway..uni is alot different here...im so used to knowing whud to do back in college and so used to being top of my class that having to start all over again and work my way up is an absolutely daunting task which im afraid to start...but i have to...ive got brilliant housemates so thatz a plus....but i do miss home...



i miss having all my chores done fer me..[lolz]...i miss my dogs...i miss my family and our daily shouting matches..i miss the bitchin sessions i have with my sista...i miss my frenz just being there..one call away...hanging out with em...*gosh*...i sound so depressed...its just that it took a lifetime for me find these ppl and a few hours after...im continents away....i miss just having ppl there around me....but im adjusting slowly here...met some awesome ppl here who have made the transition slightly better....aightz...getting to emo now....



but im glad i made my move....i had to run away from so many thingz back home too....i know running away doesnt solve it but it helps loads...putting a distance between me n my past has allowed me to look at things differently plus move away from it...i had a lot of issuez in my past drawer...believe me...im glad ive left it all behind..now im focusing on my present and my future...



ok...leaving all the ponderingz behind...[lolz]...whud have i been up too??...well...been busy settling in uni...loadz of work due this semester....busy settling in my new flat....eating...[lolz]...walking around everywhere...i really dont understand the english laaaa....they walk bloody everywhere....*sighz*..so not good fer my health...im going fer some street dancing class every thurs now....i myself dont know why...anyhoooz.....



OMG!!...clubbin here...is awesome...uve got every club imaginable!!...although british taste in clubbin music is a bit weird n contorted...itz not bad if you go with the right frenz and to the right place....ive been out so many places...im lovin it...[lolz]....and they have regular house parties here that are not bad as well....cuz there are mostly students staying around here so everyday is a party....[lolz].....



the weather!!!!...now that is a topic that needs a whole other post....itz getting fcukin colder now...with the wind and all....OMG!!!...im gonna freeze to death la....im so dreading winter...im kicking myself now fer complainin bout msian weather!!!......the wind and the rain...then the sudden sun...then back to the wind and rain....irritating la...really....

omg!!!...[ive realised ive like used OMG one time to many but humor me la]...on a totally random note....i just finished watching schindler's list....itz the most saddening movie ever....i think itz a true story...i totally teared at the ending....really saddening....

ryte...i think im done with the post...i'll upload pics on the next one...random ones ive been takin here....nytez...

...nonsical-isms...

gosh!!....it has been ages since ive blogged....

...- alone -...

wish you could fly away?

somewhere no one knows you?

hide away in the darkness?

sleep away the pain?

keep your insecurities hidden in that secret drawer?

cry quietly in the corner; undisturbed?

scream out your anger?

mask your contorted feelings?

trust someone without getting screwed over?

be yourself without someone stifling you?

i do.....

everyday.....

sits in the corner and crys out all sorrows

...- currently listening -...

Katherine Mcphee

Over It

I’m over your lies

And I’m over your games

I’m over you asking me

When you know I’m not okay

You call me at night

And I pick up the phone

And though you be tellin’ me

I know you’re not alone

Oh and that’s why your eyes

I’m over it

Your smile

I’m over it

Realized

I’m over it, I’m over it

I’m over

(Chorus)

Wanting you to be wanting me

No that ain’t no way to be

How I feel, read my lips

Because I’m so over

(I’m so over it)

Movin’ on and it’s my time

You never were a friend of mine

Hurt at first, a little bit

But now I’m so over

I’m so over it

I’m over your hands

And I’m over your mouth

Trying to drag me down and fill me with self doubt

Oh and that’s why your world

I’m over it

So sure

I’m over it

I’m not your girl

I’m over it, I’m over it

I’m over

(Chorus)

Wanting you to be wanting me

No that ain’t no way to be

How I feel, read my lips

Because I’m so over

(I’m so over it)

Moving on and it’s my time

You never were a friend of mine

Hurt at first, a little bit

But now I’m so over

So over it

I’m so over it

(Bridge)

(Oh) Don’t call, Don’t come by

Ain’t no use don’t ask me why

You’ll never change

There’ll be no more crying in the rain

No, Oh oh

I’m over it

(Chorus)

Wanting you to be wanting me

No that ain’t no way to be

How I feel, Read my lips‘

Because I’m so over

(I’m so over it)

Movin’ on and it’s my time

You never were a friend of mine

Hurt at first, a little bit

But now I’m so over

So over it

I’m so over it

I’m over it

Wanting you to be wanting me,

No that ain’t no way to be,

How I feel, read my lips

Because I’m so over

(I’m so over it)

Movin’ on and it’s my time

You never were a friend of mine

Hurt at first, a little bit

But now I’m so over

So over it

...- updates -...

i know....i havent been updating lately. ive been super busy. this is the first time in dayz im actually at home. i promise i'll update soon. got loadsa picz i need to photoshop and eventz i need to recall but i promise, it'll be soon.