Thursday, May 17, 2007

...- *moody* -...

im feeling outta sorts. i havent a clue why. im listening to this song over and over again, its like im hypnotized by it. i swear. its just playing over and over and over again. at this moment, it is at its twentieth run through i think and im just sitting here listenin to it. i dunno if im just depressed or whud, although i know for sure that im feeling something and this song is like magnifiying it tenfold. oh...for those who want to know whud song it is, its beyonce, flaws and all. swear, somethings seriously wrong with me. oh and on the same note, it reminds me of him. i lead a sad life. i need rescuing.

lame innit. on the lame topic, i watched spiderman 3 today. all i can say is, i was extremely dissapointed. the story line sucked. it was so draggy n boring that i totally tuned out, n concentrated on my popcorn. at least that was more amusing. dont get me wrong, the fight scenes n the graphics were tops, but i was bored to tears by the convo between kirsten, tobey n the other guy, their friend. i think my life has more drama in it.

the drama in my life. sighz. now thats something to reckon with. its bloody never ending. im supposed to have hols for three weeks before my next sem. guess whud?!?...i'll be lucky if i get two bloody days. im so looking forward to my redang trip. i need to chill, far away from everything. im so tired of everyone and everything. i dont know why but lately ive been thinking about him alot. thats my most tiring problem. well, its not a problem per se but...well you know how it is, it'll never end if he keeps coming back. part of me wishes he didnt, part of me is glad he did. its all a bloody see-saw i tell you. he's the part of my life that will never end. oh well.

damn it. that damn song is still playing and im listening to it like its the first time each time. im gonna be certifiably nuts soon. LOCK ME UP I TELL YOU!!!!..[ ok i'll admit, thats pretty random]..i think im just tired. sighz. i need sleep. aightz then, i think i'll end this rant session ryte here. and here is the haunting song. tribute.......


I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love (hmm)
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attentionI tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
(ah)ha ha haa ha ha uhn!
ha ha haa ha ha uhnha ha haa ha ha uhn!
ha ha haa ha ha uhn
Don't know why you loooove me
And that's why I looove you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I looove you
And that's why I looove you
And that's why I looove you
You,You, you, oh, you, you
You, you, you
You, no, you [haa ha ha uhn]
You, you [haa ha ha uhn]
You, you.

Friday, May 4, 2007

...- perfect lurve -...

...[ perfect lurve is not receiving ]..

...[ it's giving and forgiving ]..

..[perfect lurve is not red roses on valentine's day ]..

..[ it's the rest of the three hundred and 64 days knowing you lurve someone ]..

..[ perfect lurve is not phone calls and stolen kisses ]..

..[ it's the silent smiles in memory of your sweetheart ]..

..[ perfect lurve is not a grand wedding ]..

..[ but spending a lifetime together ]..

..[ perfect lurve is not fight, kiss and make up ]..

..[ it's lurving the one who annoys the hell outta you ]..

..[ do you lurve someone perfectly?? ]..

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

...- a great big fat WHY -...

...when im slowly breaking these walls that i surround myself with...
...why do you make me build them up again??...

...when im slowly beginning to trust you...
...why do you make me mistrust more??...
...when i am slowly feeling less pain around me...
...why do you show me so much more??...
...when i am slowly picking up the pieces...
...why are you scattering them more??...

...when im tearing less...
...why do you make me cry even more??...

...when i had a choice...
...why did i choose you??...

...when i am beginning to feel comfortable...
...why do you make me feel so uneasy??...

...even when all i do is resist...
...why do you insist on pulling me down to your level??...

...why cant you just let me be the person i want to be and should be??...
... instead of being something you want...

...all i seem to be doing is screaming out my true self who is forced to hide...
...constantly protraying an imposter more suited to your standards...

...how is it possible to feel so alone in a world filled with people...
...why do the small things that people who matter to us hurt ten times more??...
...how can i sit back and say that nothing bothers me when everything does??...
...why hold all your feelings inside but then again why publish it to the whole damn world??...
...its not like it gives a damn...

...i have no more fight in me left...
...cry a tear for anyone who is forced to be something they're not...
...just to fulfill someone's selfish needs...
...the chapter isnt closed yet...
...the book not yet finished...
...its just getting started...