itz freakin 6 now. just got home from my college's futsal tourny. before that went appartment shopping with jay ,who, btw is moving out. sighz!!! met jayz friend, D, and another gurl, K. people have really funny weird characters sometimes. was an extremely tiring morning. i thought i could sleep in. so anyway, coming back to the apartment shopping, i picked jay up and met her friends in the lrt station. entered the car.....*silence is fer suspense*....i hear bloody indian classical music. [ im as proud to be an indian as much as the next indian but C'MON la....at freakin 11 in the mornin??....too much fer me]. so yeah, i had to deal with that.
gettin back to my story, we met the realtor agent in kj so he could show us the way to the appartment. sighz*...what a sorry state it was in. i mean, ever heard of maintenence uh ppl?. wallz looked like they havent been painted in centuries, door frames that were prolly fixed in the 1700's and the toilets....*OMG*....bacteria would think twice before breeding in there la. to say it was filthy would be actually callin it clean. we asked if the owner was going to paint the appartment and fix it up a bit, the realtor was like..."erm no.....the owner said what you see is what you get.". somemore asking fer like RM800 per month. i would stay there even if you paid me la wei.
dissapointment 1. then we went to this other place, crimson something or other. quite a nice place. the pool is B-E-A-UTIFUL. seriously, no exaggeration. and the rent there is effin cheap. 800 also but with a pool and a gym and at least the appartment was clean. jay n her friend fell in love with it so she paid 1 mths deposit.
now coming back to the part where i was pissed. jayz friend really pissed me off today. it's like this, public transport is a major concern fer the both of them because neither of them have a car. so we drove around looking for the bus stops and all that la. we found the nearest one and both me n jay got down. i looked to see if she got down too but she DIDNT. i was like WTF?? who is the one whos gonna stay here??..why the fcuk am i getting down and looking at the damn bus routes?. even when we went to view the place and all, she never freaking opened her mouth and talked to the realtors and all. jay and i were doing that. i thinkin, "im not the one movin g in but im more concerned about it than she is." stoopid cow!!! she was more interested in talkin to her friend, who, btw, i didnt like either. poor jay. good luck to you gurl. jay was the one busy running around looking fer a proper place and dealing with the realtors. and the best part i saved for last. this gurl, D, is moving out of her current appartment. to do that you have to give notice to the owner renting it out to you. so she did give 2 mths notice. n guess when she has to move out...BY THE END OF THIS MTH!!!!. and shez goin to hanoi on the 27th. i tell you, gurl's a genius man. she knew fer 2 mths that she had to move out and she leaves it to the last min. i mean, i support all procrastinators, since im one myself, but leaving this to the last min is absolutly nutz. she keeps saying that she wants to move b4 the 27th. BOLLOCKS!!!...how the hell is jay supposed to come up with the deposit of 2300 b4 the 27th.
god!!...some people are just not born with sense i guess. so jayz moving away and im still stuck at home, which not to say is a bad thing. i dont have xtra things to worry about like bills and the rent. i'll take my time and move out. im sure i'll know when the time is right.
i feel happier now, of sorts. its amazing how the words "love you b" can anger someone in an instant. deep down i know whud i decided is for the best, but why does it still hurt. you mean nothing to me yet it seems like your everything. you cant decide but yet i still suffer. i promised not to cry, still tears threaten to fall. you constantly do this. you make all the effort in the beginning, but it dies off when i show interest. i think this pain i always feel is specially reserved for you, cuz only you can evoke it. i think i did successfully move away from you, but you came back, and now you're leaving again. my heart tells me to stay, but my brain, the only logical side of me is telling me to get the fuck away from you. i saw you today, and for the life of me i wanted to tell you all this, but i didnt. i keep it inside me, and it eats me everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. you dont call no more. you dont msg. even with all these signs, i still have that little hope. i know i shouldnt, but i do. you have that effect on me, and i know you know. you use it to your advantage and i hate you for it. you lied to me. plain and simple. at this point i dont know the truth but i feel you lied, you asshole. come back home and then we'll see. i still feel like fuck. im frustrated with all this xtra shyt i hafta deal with. i dont need the drama. 
